I'm back onto religion this week. I'm always on the path to spiritual enlightenment, however, I'm not prepared to work too hard for it. It occurred to me this week that Kabbalah might therefore be the religion for me. After all, Madonna was able to join this religion by just wearing a wristband. I could do that. Indeed, I had worn one of Lance Armstrong's Livestrong wristbands even after they stopped being fashionable. That was a serious commitment to wristband wearing.

Hilary Fortnum wrote:

Date: Mon, 23 Jul 2007 14:16:26 +0100 (BST)
From: Hilary Fortnum
Subject: Kabbalah QC
To: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

Dear Kabbalah, in association with Madonna,

I love wearing wristbands, I also haven't got a registered religion listed on the national census at the moment (I simply put "… and no religion too").

I therefore thought – what about combining my dedication to wristband wearing, and the religious vacancy that I have, by becoming a Kabbalah-ist.

I have a few questions before I sign up.

First, is there much reading to do? I do love a good autobiography, like "Being an Actor" by Simon Callow (which is about him being an actor), however, if there's loads of long words and things to remember, I'm useless and I will get bored. Perhaps if you could set out "Why Kabbalah is good" in less than 250 words, that would be helpful.

Is Kabbalah true? What I mean is – can you confirm that it's not just something that people made up hundreds of years ago and people believe it today just because it's written down. To be honest, if I do become a Kabbalah-ist I would expect to see at least three miracles. One which I would hope to see would be a bus that can travel from Boston Spa to Leeds city centre in just under 37 minutes (at the moment it takes around 50 minutes).

Finally, if you are going to take any religion seriously you need some heavy-weight celebrity endorsement. I know that Madonna is in charge of Kabbalah but who is second in command? I would love it if it was Bill Cosby.

Thank you for your time,

Hilary